The Troubled Therapist

May 8, 2012

Insight Into Mitt Romney’s Dysmorphic Thoughts

Take the manifestation of Delusional Disorder after maniacally masticating reality with a heaping of twisted facts and grandiose gestation [Dissociative Amnesia], and one [Mitt Romney] presents for treatment Twit Syndrome [my diagnosis {American Psychiatric Association patent pending}].
Twit Syndrome is best characterized by the presence of non-bizarre delusions persisted for at least six months or one republican presidential primary. Non-bizarre delusions such as believing one’s beliefs are beliefs worth believing in after public opinion wanes from disinterest and a serious lack of hamburger helper is something occurring in a patient’s paradigm and innate ability to forgo subsequent conclusions locked in the realm of possibility [proselytizing intended intangibility]. For example, the patient may believe their significant other should go through a moral bankruptcy rather than face the ardor of counseling or psychotropic intervention [single pay option optional] when the moral bankruptcy in issue is a flambéed factoid rooted in the transference of fundamentalist fundament served on golden plates [think peculiar thoughts{think altered LSD-LDS tripping}]; and upon completion of previously discussed moral bankruptcy said patient will alter disbelief with a belief in being pro-everything he or she or Mitt Romney was once against.
One must remember to forget that Twit Syndrome sufferers have a marked impairment in their daily functioning not noticeably bizarre or objectively characterized as out-of-the-ordinary. Real life becomes a distraction. Tactile and olfactory hallucinations center around manifested destiny and destination blurred by frequent derailment or incoherence within grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior during or after debating and press conferences designed to dispel previous thought and intention.
Psychotherapy is usually the most effective help for patients suffering from Twit Syndrome. The overriding important factor in this therapy is the quality of the patient/therapist relationship [ability to pay or proof of insurance]. If the patent believes that the therapist really does think he or she is “crazy,” the therapy is on target and greatly enhanced with enhancements and enactable enactions [various pharmaceutical cocktails]. Once a firm, supportive therapeutic relationship has been established, the therapist can begin reinforcing positive gains and behaviors the individual makes in his or her life, such as in educational or occupational gains [an honest tithing tithable tirate is considered contradictory and not for the belly or body]. Only when the patient has begun to feel more secure in their social or occupational world can more productive work be accomplished — think Mitt Romney moonwalking [think real hard {opiate somnambulism required}]

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February 23, 2012

Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich and Blow Jobs

Into the distance straight to the point of turning back, I can’t escape or remain free from tongue twisting. So instead of turning to stone or leucotomy, I indulge in the tedium of group practice as a practitioner of being adrift. Add determining factors like attendance, participation, flatulation, and me as a group leader intent on fantasy and moronic leading questions aimed at wasting time, and you’ve got group dynamics disguised as a Republican Presidential debate or an understanding of what I’m trying to decipher in this post ( message me with a $50.00 check or a coupon for Manny’s Medical Maui Wowie if this makes sense).
Okay … just a little pin prick.
Journeying to the center of the mind is a heady trip. Psychedelics, confusion, a howling wind carrying the flatulence of those along the watchtower help to share the psychotic load — loaded or unloaded. In medical terminology it’s simply stated as Expressive Language Disorder — an impairment in expressive language development as demonstrated by scores on standardized individually administered measures of expressive language development substantially below those obtained from standardized measures of both nonverbal intellectual capacity and receptive language development, including verbal language, sign language, Rick Santorum’s religious delusions, Mitt Romney’s plasticized attempts at verbal language through practiced animated facial expressions and body tics, Newt Gingrich’s ability to over-bloat and Ron Paul’s whinny huffiness.
Hello is there anybody in there?
The linguistic features of Expressive Language Disorder [ELD] varies depending on its severity and the age of the patient [politician]. These features include a limited amount of speech, limited range of vocabulary, difficulty acquiring new words, word-finding or vocabulary errors, shortened sentences, simplified grammatical structures, limited varieties of grammatical structures, limited varieties of sentence types, omissions of critical parts of sentences, use of unusual word order, and slow rate of language development — acquired either through biological means or sloppy oral sex (conservatives still dispute this despite indicative indicators [Rick Santorum has a call in to the Vatican for clarification {Ron Paul relates to Newt Gingrich through hand mimicry and rolling eyes {{Gingrich, prone to crowing and barking, hides his ELD from Ron Paul with an overindulgence in Ho Ho’s and flatulence overload — biological}} that Santorum is in desperate need of oral sex post coitus} — lost in a teleprompter translation Mitt Romney misinterprets as a sign to change direction, philosophy, and the CD playing static in his head]).
Hey you with you ear against the wall can you hear me?
As I’ve stated: group therapy, debates and Rick Santorum shadow singing Pink Floyd can be tedious. Elections or talk talk sessions disguised as intelligent banter aren’t for the political or medical astute [destitute]. The cure is not a rock band or in the cure for ELD, which isn’t found in treatment, but in avoidance.
Come on, it’s time to go.
These gentle voices I hear explain it all with a sigh. For ELD, Santorum backs aspirin between the knees therapy post speaking in tongues with Jesus and Satan’s attorney. Mitt Romney has no clue as to whether he believes in intelligent banter, and thus can’t believe his beliefs until they are otherwise believable. Newt Gingrich [Ho Ho crumbed] insists on insisting he’s breathing in and breathing out despite current polling [and sexual] position. Ron Paul reminds himself he’s so very special — after all, he’s opposed to breathing in and breathing out unless he’s debating.
… And President Obama promises me that my Manny coupon is in the mail.

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