The Troubled Therapist

July 12, 2011

Debt Ceiling, Michele Bachmann and Boehner Blow-up Dolls

Filed under: comedy,humor — Chuck A Stetson @ 1:40 PM
Tags: , , , , , ,

I’ve been on sabbatical. Fueled by wasteful thinking, Wonton soup noodles and a belief in the disbelief that my patients were mannequins suffering from DAMP [deficits in attention, motor control and perception], I acquiesced to diagnosis’ of Autagonistophilia [there was only that one time {maybe three or four} in the chorus line of A Beautiful Mind in Rio], Internet Addiction Disorder and Michele Bachmann –Turner Overdrive Wishful Polyandry On Alternating Wednesdays Disorder. But that’s in the incurable past.

Many of my patients and similar facilities of functional compunctions with compulsions to shimmy-shimmy-shake, have voiced growing anxiety over the inability to manage staring at the ceiling debt [? {— transference of complexities on to inanimate animation}]. Electric shock therapy, Silly String therapy, prophylactic therapy and terseness within flower arranging seminars, have proved ineffective in treatment of the ceiling debt or debt ceiling [terminology depends on regionalist predilections on proprietary fiscal madness] paranoia. After much thought and dialogue with my colleagues at the Cartoon Network, I’ve determined a course of reactive treatment disproportionate to the situation — the raising of my hourly rate. While this influx in capital will help to alleviate the concave comedy of watching one’s ceiling, there’s soon to be irrefutable evidence to the contrary. That’s the magic of DC [Debt Ceiling] Madness.

As in past treatment options, adherence to medication is optimally optional pending delusional approval from the makers of M&M’s and John Boehner blowup dolls with facsimile fascia. Should — by fact of reason or understanding that the inanimate stasis of ceilings [dropped, plastered, dry-walled or apricot pitted] have nothing to do with debt outside of the inner-workings of asylum-vested vestige and/or the other, my determination to wander wanderlust into the der ernsthaft heiß blue eyes of Michele Bachmann will continue to undermine my attempts at collateral-collage making until the powers that be reinstate internet privileges or my next scheduled appointment.


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